She's covered in razor lines and dynamite

For once I am finally happy with where I am in life...

I'm not freaking out because I'm not doing what people expect of me.

I'm doing it my way. And I know I'm 18 and I know everything....

But I think I have  good idea of what I'm doing.

Not going to school right away may have been one of the best decisions I ever made. I am going to have so much fun and learn so much from my new adventure. Plus, I'll be earning money as opposed to spending. I'm nervous cuz Mike's parents will be my bosses, but I have a great relationship with both of them. I am excited and content for once in my life. It's only taken me 8 years. I am already learning so much and while it's stressful, it's fun and a great experience that most 18 year olds don't get.

It's a new year and I'm excited for it!

Everything has changed... Plans, ideas, everything

It's a little bit funny.

I feel a little left out now that I think about it...

I'm not in school, I'm not having a crazy dorm life,

I'm stuck somewhere in the middle, because I let my fears hold me back.

I tell people not to do that, but I can't take my own advice. Ha

Oh well. I know I will figure it out in time. Everything will be just fine.

I know it.

Xanga is so 2 years ago!!

Anyway... It's been a while. Not much to say. Not like anyone still reads this anyway. Just getting ready to grow up. Seems like the closer it gets, the more scared I am. In about a month, I will be living on my own... well, with Mike and then a month later, my brother too. But I won't be in the same house as my dad anymore. I won't have friends around the corner. It's weird to think of it all. I wonder if I'm going to be ok. If I can actually make things work. If I can really be as successful and as strong as everyone seems to think I am, or will I just disappoint everyone? I just realized the other day, that if things don't work out with Mike, I honest to God  do not know what I will do. I think i would just fall apart. He is pretty much my whole life and has been for quite some time. Not saying that other people don't matter or anything, because, regardless, I still have my friends and family. But we've made such huge plans. We seem to have such high expectations.... What if it doesn't work? I always have to find the bad in every thing. Hopefully it'll all work out and this time next year I'll be thinking how dumb I was just now thinking all this crazy stuff. I never saw this. I never expected this. But I'm glad I've got it. The people, the memories, the experiences. I feel like such a different person than I was 7 years ago. I AM a very different person than I was 7 years ago.